This past weekend i was out at a friends house having the same conversation that i have had so many times with people trying to figure out what they want in a Daddy/Mommy. This is not to say that they didn't know what they wanted it was just that most people have a general idea of what they want in the relationship or they have a fantasy about what kind of relationship they want and this often leads to disappointment. Anyway, as we were talking i once again went over what i say to most people before they even get involved with anyone. i highly recommend that everyone take a close look at themselves and evaluate what are your needs, wants and desires.
By needs i mean what do you really need out of the relationship with a Daddy/Mommy? What role are you looking for them to fill? Are you looking for someone to fix you? Needs are things that you absolutely cannot live without within a relationship with a Daddy/Mommy. These would be some of the most important things to you. Are there any ethical or moral concerns that you need to consider when making your list? Remember that when you get into this type of relationship they are all about trust and you need to consider all aspects of your potential Daddy/Mommy before diving in head first.
Some of mine are, trust, communication, affection, love, encouragement, growth, playtime, respect for me and my work, laughter, patience, great sex, and quality time. If any of these were missing they would become deal breakers for me and i would seriously consider ending the relationship. This may sound really harsh to some of you but life is to short to spend your time in a relationship that is not working for you.
What are your wants, these are the things that you really would like to have but are not deal breakers if you can't have them. What would you really like to have in the relationship that you feel would enhance it or make it better for you? These are the things that often times change over the years as our tastes change. We all have things that we would really like to have in a relationship, healthy partners, well behaved children all the time, a maid. Most of us don't have them and can't have them so they are not deal breakers for us.
For me i want to be encouraged to try new things, go new places, have new dresses and shoes to play dress up, a puppy. None of these things are deal breakers for me but they are really high on my priories list.
Now to your desires? These are your deepest fantasies that you may or may not wish to have fulfilled. It really doesn't matter what they are, what matters is that they are yours and that you should acknowledge them even if they make you uncomfortable. No one should ever judge you for these fantasies or desires, if they do, you should kick them to the curb, they are not worthy of you. Each persons desires are going to be a little different and some might be allot different from others, that doesn't make them any less important. i'm not just talking about your sexual desires here either, these could be your desires to travel the country or own a big house in the mountains. For some people these things can be deal breakers for others they are a dream that hopefully will happen one day. Make sure to put each thing in its correct category according to what significance you place them in your life.
Where i am going with all of this is to help you to get a clear picture of what you really want in a potential Daddy/Mommy. By making a clear list of your needs, wants, and desires you will have these things in the back of your head when you meet with potential Daddy/Mommy candidates and will see any red flags before becoming to involved. I also recommend that you go back and look at this list at least every six months and revise it to add or delete things as needed.
This is also a really good things for Daddy's/Mommy's to do as well so that they will have a clear picture of what they are looking for in their little and how that person really matches up with the fantasy they have in their head.
One last thing, when making your list make sure that you are realistic in what you are looking for and remember that we are all human. That being said don't give up on your own core values and principles these are what make you who you are don't compromise on these just to have a relationship with someone else.